Evaluation Holy Nights

12 holy days - evaluation

Rudolf Steiner, who re-introduced the concept of the Holy Nights in the 1900s, based the 12 nights on the spiritual lessons of each astrological sign. In his spiritual view on the world, the sign travels through the signs each day, and the human spirit travels through the lessons of the sun sign each month. So the 12 days were the initiations of the spiritual lessons of the coming year.
I have taken a slightly different approach, by focussing on how the moon is connected with dream content. The Moon has traveled through six signs these past 12 Holy Nights, and I have focussed on one aspect of these six signs each night.

Looking back on the dreams we have gathered together I focused on our group as a dream community and asked myself the question: How did we dream as a dream community? Did common themes that prevail? Did mutual dreams occur? Did common themes emerged and evolve?

Our dreams

Our dreams started out quite big. The Fisher King, The Spider Goddess, the Great God Pan, they all said hello to us. Mutual dreaming occurred in my eyes around the Tree of Life. It was important in my incubation and almost all of us seemed to gather around in our dreams under the Tree of Life. The color Gold was also dreamed by multiple people, as were mandala’s and circles. Dreams about art and creativity: plays, books and drawings were shared. We striped down in our dreams to our naked selves, even if we sometimes did not like it. We went back to the essential Selves we ought to be.

The Mother Goddess was abundantly present: manifested as mother Mary, as the Spider Goddess, as the Wolf with magnetizing blue eyes. The Mouse was dreamed upon for its totem qualities for precision and refinement.

I would like to hear your interpretations on the series of dreams you had. Because I only made your dreams my dreams, it is just my vision I have given you the past few days.  Thank you for participating and making this such a joyful and inspiring event.

Urban Crone (Lidia Tremblay)

12th Holy Dream
January 6, 2015

While I had no dreams last night, I have been thinking a lot about the properties of ‘The Soul’. During my incubation, I was met by a man who was very stern and learned, and reminded me of the Hierophant in the Tarot deck. When we entered my Willow Tree, and walked down the ten steps, I saw a table full of pieces of paper, much like in my last dream (Yellow Car and Pieces of Paper). Our task, or rather my task under his direction, was to put the papers in order. When I started doing that they turned transparent, each showing and building upon the pieces beneath.

Yesterday I spent quite a few hours feeling as though I’ve been pulled apart, with parts of me all over the place. The incubation meditation served to put me back together again.

I have always believed that we are made of three large components: physical, within which we have our various organs doing their jobs of keeping us healthy and covered with skin, just to keep everything in place; the soul, comprising of intellect, emotions and will; and the spirit, within which we get to connect with our higher selves and deities, experience intuition, and conscious – our guide to right and wrong. Our souls are kind of a buffer between the physical and spiritual, because for whatever reason, without it we would be overwhelmed by the spiritual input.

My soul is what made me *ME*. It allowed me to learn right from wrong, taught me the value of truth and integrity; it gave me strength to go through very tough times, and come through them with the ability to say ‘no’ whenever needed, and walk away from harmful situations. It taught me to listen to my intuition, and open my mind and heart to spiritual teachings that may differ from mine. My soul established my character throughout the years, and is still teaching me daily. I have often felt as though I’m beaten with kindness by Goddess Brigit upon Her anvil into the person I was meant to be.

Back to the Hierophant – I am a person with a creative soul. As these pieces of transparencies were stacked together, I feel the lesson here is not to get too carried away with creativity that leads nowhere, not to abandon the traditions I have been taught, but to honour them and learn from them. There is something to be said about order and customs. They provide parameters and guidelines within which creativity can blossom.


Urban Crone (Lidia Tremblay)
I hardly know how to put my emotions and experiences into words. These 12 Holy Nights of dreaming have stretched me in ways I have not felt in a long, long while. Not every night brought dreams, but then the meditations based on the guided incubations more than made up for them, for they brought with them visions every bit as powerful and insightful as the dreams would have.

It will take me some time to see the full impact of this exercise. Right now, I will enjoy a few days of downtime, allow the dreams and visions to incubate further to form the mosaic they represent. While I have read the dreams of other participants, I will need to go through them again more carefully, and see how they integrate with my own, thus creating even a larger mosaic.

I think the greatest joy was getting acquainted with family members I have not met in the waking world. Meeting my sister and grandmother was amazing, and I don’t need to look for hidden messages there – I take those dreams/visions quite literally.

Susanne, thank you for all your hard work in presenting this opportunity to us. Thank you also to all who have posted dreams. I have enjoyed reading them very much.

I need a bit of time to process all of this. Once I have a clearer understanding, I will contact you again with further evaluation.

Joy and blessings to all!


Over the past 12 nights I made sure something mentioned in the incubation or my dreams was represented on my night table. In all this is what the combined set-up looks like. The small quartz is the best representation I have of The Diamond I dreamed about.




Wow! Lidia, I really love your altar of dream characters! The eagle with wings spread over all is stirring! I’m sure looking at this is a feast for your soul!
I am away from home and this time did not bring any of my spiritual paraphernalia. But when I get home, your collection inspires me to create my own altar of dream characters. This has been an enlightening but really intense journey! I am looking forward to a few night’s rest, also!

To summarize my dreams, I tried developing just a single word for each dream or meditation, and I missed the first two. Then I tried to summarize with a set of words that described my overall experience of dreaming.
I came up with a concept of a tree, like a pine tree, my life tree.

The branches, one for each dream I had, are:

Earth and Animals
Small but Significant

And the words that captured the themes running all through all the dreams, that form the trunk, or perhaps the roots, are:

Art Creativity Intuition Integrity or Authenticity Beauty Reciprocity

These 12 Holy Nights have brought an immense soul level healing to me, along with some previous recent archetypal dream experience. With my discovering delight in intuitive art-making I was ecstatic. But it was the intuitive realization of my mother’s presence in the dream on the Tenth Holy Night and the sense of who she might have been if not so troubled that prompted me to contact her on the Eleventh Night and experience the most dazzling reunion that was so far beyond what I could ever imagine. I think I must have split wide open because I have had two days of heart to heart, soul to soul contact with an old friend and a dear cousin that have also been incredibly healing to all of us.

I have realized without a doubt in my mind or heart, that no matter what our egos and forgetfulness cause us to experience here on earth, that our spirits never for a moment hold grudges. I have seen that when the dust flies off, and we are free of the limitations of having been in a body, there is only ecstasy in the reunion with our soul family, those that we chose to be with in this lifetime. This gives me a confidence and assurance of so much love and support from the unseen world, as well as shifting how I will interact with the incarnated souls in my world.

I am deeply grateful for this experience, and for Susanne’s inspired and thoughtful choreography of the meditations and energies that swirled into our dreams each night. As well as for her insightful reflections on each of our dreams. I know that we are the ultimate evaluator of what rings true for us in our dream but it is always helpful to have another pair of eyes recognizing the clues that lie in our blind spots. I always found something to think about in a different way in those comments, as well as confirmations. I appreciated all the additional resources that were shared. I will be exploring these dreams for quite some time. Thanks to all who shared this journey, and your dreams. It’s been a delight to be with you this 12 Holy Nights. Namaste and all blessings.


Urban Crone (Lidia Tremblay):


Out of the blue, this thought hit me – what is self-love?

The answer should be obvious and self-evident. Self-love = love of one self. Is it really that obvious and self-evident, though? How many of us really love themselves? According to Mark 12:31 Jesus once said, “Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no greater commandment than this.” Within Pagan teachings it is said, “Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give… And ye harm none, do as thou will.” Again, the message is the same.

The more I think about self-love the more of a mystery it becomes. Speaking for myself, ever since I was old enough to be aware of life, I was taught to never be disrespectful, to do my best, to get good grades, not to be forward, to practice diligence. At the same time, I saw my parents rip each other apart, fail in respect, be careless with their lives. I was told not to be vain, while being taught how to apply make-up. There were mixed messages everywhere. The thought of loving myself was actually abhorrent, because that would imply false pride and vanity, yet I was to love others, especially those who did the greatest harm to each other and their children.

I learned not to show my pain, because that would bring more pain to me. I learned to say nothing when I was beaten, abused and humiliated. I continued to ‘love’ others as best I could, but how could I possibly love myself, when I was so inadequate, incomplete, guilty. No, it wasn’t self-love – it was self-doubt. Love was for others, but never for oneself.

With these experiences within me, I still have a problem loving myself. It’s more than ‘letting go’ of the hurts; it’s more than just accepting what has been. It’s *loving* myself. It’s loving *myself*! Self-love is not vanity or pride or the Ego getting in the way of life. What is it, then? Why is this concept so difficult?

For the Twelve Holy Nights, I was given guided meditations to do, and then dream according to the meditations. Some of my dreams were lengthy and detailed, some were just short flashes of images, and some nights I don’t recall dreaming at all. However, after the experience, and allowing myself time to simply relax, this hit me – Self-Love. Among other things, I have been a diamond, met my ancestors, became a carefree child, was fed by Mercury, sat in the Balance of the Angel Ariel, found my birch Tree of Life, put the pieces of my soul together, met my Shadow Self where greed and vanity still live, flew the open skies with an Eagle, asserted my self-worth, and blended the voices of many into One. All my dreams and meditations pointed towards this deep and unmistakable focus of loving myself!

This Mystery of Self-Love gives me much to learn, but it gave me a start. I can no longer focus on my faults and inadequacies, because this leaves little room for love. May the Goddess bless this Mystery and make it grow within us all!


Mail me your experiences and stories, and I will share them anonymously  in tomorrow’s blog. Or just leave it in our private area below (it will be sent to Mindfunda, and will not show public):
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Below we will share the insights in our 12 dreams, only visible to the other participants.
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