Valentine: even though research shows most women consider it to be a cliché, we all want our partners to make some extra effort. taking us out to dinner or to the movies. Few of us really dare to ask an unkown person on a date. I only once had the experience that a secret admirer sent me a bouquet of flowers (a wonderful surprise I must admit).
Valentines day used to be about poetry. Charles, Duke of Orleans, was held prison and wrote a love poem to his wife. Today, mostly thanks to commercial initiatives, it has become a widely celebration of love. And even though its intention has become commercial, there is no harm in celebrating love.
Yesterday I wrote a blog about Brene Brown, who promotes living vulnerable as a way to become authentic. And often you have to become vulnerable in declaring love for someone who might not love you back. There is a way though, to induce the chances that someone will become infatuated with you. Here is my Mindfunda about the brain in love. Sharing intimate stories can enhance feelings of friendship and even love. You have to be careful however, that you do not confide too much to soon. Shared stories can really turn a relationship around.
Valentine: dreams of love
You know as well as I do, that dreams are the stories you whisper in the night. And by telling someone your dreams you trust them with the secrets of your soul. In a wonderful book “Dreams and Premonitions” Amy Newmark and Kelly Sullivan Walden shared some amazing love dreams.
In a very nice romantic mutual dream, a lady danced with a male friend she had not seen for years. They got into some kind of argument and the contact between them was diminished ever since. But this night, she dreamed about dancing with this guy.
She really did not want to call him because they had drifted apart in their friendship. But as the day matured, her inclination raised. She could not resist the temptation and picked up the phone. She dialed his number and when she identified herself, her friend said: “I dreamed I was dancing with you this night.” And yes, you guessed right: violins swelled on and they became a couple.
Another remarkable story in the book has to do with a so-called “voice over” dream. In those kind of dreams a voice over makes a statement, usually at the end of the dream, right before waking up. A lady heard a voice saying that a particular man would become her husband.She knwe the guy in question, who was the big brother of one of the kids she worked with in her local church in Botswana. But she had never ever met him. But that was to change the same day. The guy with the name that she heard in her dream was introduced to her that day. Because both of them originated in completely different back grounds, the dreaming lady dismissed the idea of becoming romantically involved. They started working together on a church project. At the end of the project, both had feelings that could not be ignored and they are married ever since.
Chicken Soup for the Soul “Dreams and premonitions is filled with 101 stores that are a delight to read.
Valentine: my own dreams
The night before my first date with the guy that would later become my husband I had a wonderful dream. In the dream I am on the train (of life) while I enjoy the feeling of the sun on my skin. I open the window and, while the train crosses a river, some of the water cools down my skin. Indeed, my husband is used to calm down my emotions and the intensity of my feelings. He has become the sunshine in my life.