This blog is a part of a 4-blog series about the body.
The first blog is about Body Image and Self Esteem
This blog is about the spiritual body;
The third blog will be about the dreaming body;
The last blog will be about the body of poetry.
For me, the spiritual body is the way we relate to mother Earth. The way we feed our bodies. The way we understand plants and trees. The way we relate to the cycles of nature.
So this blog is not about chakra’s or about the soma psuchikon (the animal body which is sown in corruption and dishonour) as Paul describes it in the bible. It is about our relationship with mother Earth. Honouring our bodies as representatives of Mother earth.
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If you are like me, you will not ever have perceived your body as representing mother Earth. We know all too well, the humiliation we have felt about our bodies since we have been young. Too big, too small, too fat, to tiny, when we look in the mirror we immediately see what is wrong. When we see a picture taken of us we think: OMGH, is THAT the way I look? I almost always feel so much prettier than I look on pictures…
With this blog I hope to show you how a simple girl like me, not very pretty with weird eyes that are too far apart, a funny turned up nose and freckles started to accept her body. But let’s first explore the origin of the repulsion of our own body: the Mother Wound.
Spiritual Body and the Mother Wound
Food and the spiritual body are interrelated. We learn at a very young age that we can ease pain, cold and loneliness with food.
My own struggle with food began when I was undiagnosed with type one diabetic disorder. I had no insulin, so my body could not process food. I began to become very skinny.
My parents did not notice that. When you see someone everyday that is getting bigger or smaller, at first you don’t notice that.
But I ate chocolate like a mad-woman. I stole chocolate from my parents and ate it all. They were mad as hell with me. From that moment on,in my parent’s eyes I had a complete lack of character. That was very painful for me.
Eating chocolate gave me into a feeling of bliss. The world was kind and good when I had eaten a bar of chocolate.
What has this got to do with the mother wound you ask? Mothers sooth their child with food. You get a desert when you finish up the meal on your plate.
From the days that we are a child, food is associated with comfort. So you can imagine how I have an unhealthy relationship with food (especially chocolate).
And who is responsible for your meals? Yes your mother. She gives you food, she decides if you get that desert, or the candy.
And I dare to bet with you that about 55-60 percent of our mothers struggled with their own weight.
Spiritual Body and Food
In 2010 I started to educate myself again. I had been a stay at home mother for five years and I wanted to begin my own practice. Advising people about healthy food and supplements.
I graduated with honours. But I could not get any customers. Well, i had to become a member of an official institute for my potential customers to get their consults repaid by insurance. And that official institute charged a lot of money.
And after a client was gone I had to get into the whole process of finding new ones. The same thing that has happened to me in this company Mindfunda. The chase, the hunt for customers is not something I am good at.
Let’s get back to the subject of this blog: mother Earth and Food. In my education I found out that you are the stuff that you eat.
Garbage in – Garbage Out. It is not only psychological, it is also physical.
I have written a good blog about how Tryptophan regulates sleep. But bottom line: if you eat natural things your body becomes more healthy.
So I tried, honestly, to get my daily magnesium so I could skip the chocolate.
NOWAY! My body would not let that happen.
When I was approaching my fifties, I began to gain weight. I always had eaten a lot of cheese and chocolate, but now I could clearly see how that was affecting my belly.
I got all depressed because when sitting down my belly was hanging on my legs. I did not feel attractive at all.
I had to adjust to a whole new body image. My clothing style changed too. I used to wear cute dresses. Now I wore the uniform of ladies all over the world. The Jeans-Shirt uniform.
Spiritual Body and Clothes
I was so happy when I got money from my parents to buy my own clothes. Up till than, being the younger one in a big family of 7, my clothes had been wear me downs from older sisters.
It was the time when Madonna was emerging as an artist. She was showing off her boobs, shaking her ass and everybody, even the feminist movement thought she was strong.
I tied a ribbon in my hair, curled it, and I bought a long skirt with buttons and unbuttoned the last ones so my legs would elegantly be shown at each step. I felt reborn.
At my school they felt differently. Someone anonymous wrote some very offensive remarks in my school agenda.
My parents were offended too. “You should not wear make up” my father said. But I loved (and still love) to put on make up. It’s my creation time. I can understand why there are so many transvestites.
Anyway, the story about how I became aware of how male sexuality is tied to womanhood you can read in my first blog.
Spiritual Body and Friends
When I was writing this blog in my mind (Mindfunda is the blog by walking around: as soon as I think of a subject I take a walk and start to compose sentences and subjects) I could only think of times I got really hurt and disappointed in friendships.
How has friendship influenced the relationship with your body?
I always had very attractive ladies as best friends. Because I refuse to compete about men. (why on earth would I be even slightly interested in a man who has the hots for one of my friends?)
But it was inevitable that I would compare my body with theirs. And all spiritual schools say that comparison makes you sad.
But let me give you a tip. there is nothing more rewarding than spoiling your weight by drinking and eating and laughing with your friends.
I am glad you made it all the way down this blog! Share it if you have liked it and I hope you will leave a comment.
Thank you, Susanne. My mother struggled endlessly with her weight–and with mine. She wanted me to be taller and have long legs like hers. That couldn’t be changed, but she rewarded and praised me when I was thinner and fretted if I gained a few pounds. Like her, I developed bad food habits of binging and starving. And I became a nutritionist and women’s health counselor and thought I had this one licked. But then my husband died. We had so much fun exercising and eating healthy food together. Without him, my motivation is wounded and I still struggle with eating sweets when life feels sad or lonely. It doesn’t help, except for those few moments when it does.
I often create altars for Divine Mother with sweets on them–sweets for Her rather than for me. That helps be remember that I want to feel good, move well, and honor the miraculous gift of this body that is so much part of the Earth.
Hi Elaine, thank you for your comment. Isn’t it scary to realize how many mothers were suffering with their own weight and self-image?
I know that i have gained a lot of weight when I met Jurgen, my husband. I was not in the habit of cooking and eating so eating 3 times a day, even though much healthier than before, made me gain weight.
But I love our meals together, the fun we make, the jokes, yes I can imagine how you’d miss that.
I love the fact that you give sweets to the Divine Mother, you take good care of her 😉
I know all about it Susan, I have this thing with chocolate. Yesterday I ate a whole bar of pure chocolate with air bubbles and I enjoyed every minute of it (delicious. The only thing I know about how to stop it is not to buy it. So I have stoped buying praline chocolate (gone in a minute after I get home) and I usually buy those 72 % plus pure chocolate bars. The lack the yummy factor so i can eat a piece with my espresso at 9:30, and another with my espresso at 1:30 😉
I also have experienced a decrease in the tendency to eat chocolate whenever I eat my salad every day: the more vegetables I eat, the less I crave eating chocolate.
Thanks Susanne -,food- mmmm, I have such a complex relationship with it. I love food, sweet and savoury. Even though I know all about healthy eating and practice this, there are many many times I act perfectly unconsciously with regard to it and go completely overboard using no restraint. There’s something’s out using food to stuff down, and hide out of sight, uncomfortable feelings. My friends too seem to have the food issue in control. if they only knew how out of control I sometimes am they would not believe it.
Dear Susanne, This is a wonderfully rich, and deeply honouring article! I enjoyed reading how you relate our relationship to our bodies, with our relationship with Mother Earth herself. We can spend hours forgetting that we even have a body, and often it is only by going “outside” into nature, that we finally plug into the greater body, that calls us home.
I agree, many mothers have a difficult relationship with their own bodies, and often if not consciously, will unconsciously pass that on. I remember getting caught up in it all myself, and developing Bulimia Nervosa in my late teens until I was 33 years old. I even wrote a harrowing poem, “Food Was Never the Problem” all about it which I’ve posted it to twitter.
In my early 20’s I met someone who had won the genetic lottery for beauty. She was stunning, everywhere she went people loved her, craved her … even when she was totally addicted to heroin, and cutting her arms, they still wanted her. Sad story, with a sad ending. Thank you for these articles, I think many will enjoy them. Blessings always, Deborah.
Hi Deborah,
Thank you for your comment and your honesty. I hope you will share the poem “Food Was Never the Problem” in a blog about poetry on Mindfunda? I would love for you to share your wisdom
in the section about “the body of poetry”. When I watched the biography of Maya Angelou on Netflix the other night, I got to thinking about the fact that there are not many famous female poets.
But words, feelings and the rhythm of poetry are all things females of all ages are so familiar with.
Susanne